and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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