oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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