Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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