sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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