mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
