he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
