Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
