worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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