it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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