it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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