im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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