I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
