I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
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I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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