i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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