How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
