So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
