Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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