your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
P.S. I can't hear my feet
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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