I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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