Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
