We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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