Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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