You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
