HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
