the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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