I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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