garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
