Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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