she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
