Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
