He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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