you traded sex for a burrito?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
