Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
