Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
