who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
