Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
