I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
