Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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