it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
