ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
