Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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