I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
