I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
