Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
