Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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