haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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