What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
