I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
