His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There are leaves in my underwear?
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