Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
