The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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