In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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