dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
