i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How does one acquire holy water?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
