Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
