I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We're like a lot better than the average bears
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Randomize
