That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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