You just made me feel so damn special
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
