i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
